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A SPLENDIDLY WRITTEN, TRAGIC BURST: robotic musings on etiquette

By Madi Giovina



I.

you will disappear; but if you desire

II.

the giver loses its most popular song

III.

give more to entertain them
as the meats have a row

IV.

you are not to make any such pleasures, or any danger

V.

Avoid affectation;

VI.

keep carefully to attract attention entirely ignorant

VII.

Never leave the room,

VIII.

poor women, inferior in America.

IX.

all classes,
all the most suitable costume

X.

they will leave you

XI.

Fortune is, unfortunately, grounded,
or to be well-bred

XII.

Detain him out more
or rendered beneficial effects will naturally dry.

XIII.

Wine OR FRILLED SHAPE. Take that the whole.
Bottle it, raised in speaking of your temper into subjection,

XIV.

clear and promptly, speak in multitudes of others;

XV.

Never sit down smoothly,
firmly, and in pleasure of olive oil,

XVI.

too broad,
too long,
two or three pieces of acquiring knowledge

XVII.

Enough to
behave quietly and pass a low
tone, and the balsam of oil of age

XVIII.

In disguise.
There is an egg,
and it looks particularly dry
it is in winter furs and
dark gloves

XIX.

Familiar manner, and a caricature of fairy-like illusion
may be cast off the room

XX.

Accordance with anything suffers from want of our own room;

XXI.

you are the stain with a gentleman,
which they will convey

XXII.

Poison before greeting the lady
to learn effectually

XXIII.

your bodies
as the servant
is too obscure
for which are erected,

XXIV.

never be
impolite

XXV.

Clearly understand
her; wait for use.

XXVI.

do not allow ourselves often marry

XXVII.

enquiries for a
pains-taking mistress, economical

XXVIII.

Baby, never lay wagers

XXIX.

God, in loss of sense. She
laughs at end.

XXX.

His loss

Author's Note

I generated these poems using a python poem generator I wrote, and two source texts: "The Ladies' Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness" and "The Ladies' Guide to True Politeness and Perfect Manners." All punctuation and capitalization is true to the output of the generator.
Madi Giovina writes short stories and poems with a focus on the fantastical and a nod to more just futures. Her academic background is in Computer Science, but a quarter-life crisis and a desire to amplify emerging voices led her to independent publishing. She has work in Bewildering Stories, Down in the Dirt, Best Vegan Science Fiction & Fantasy 2019, Urban Galaxy's Night Relics anthology, super / natural, and several zines. A collection of her short fiction is forthcoming on Martian Press.